All Buns on Deck

In a spark of genius, I have created an alternative toilet contraption that allows the user to sit on a toilet and poo into a plastic grocery bag with no need for water. All you need is some cardboard, saran wrap and a bit of tape. Thomas Crapper might have his crapper, but I lay claim to the poozer.

The Poozer: Directions and Pretty Pictures

Step 1. Select a choice piece of cardboard

Note: You want a solid and unbent piece of carboard capable of holding 2-3 lbs of raw material. Boxboard is not recommended.

Step 2. Cut the cardboard to size so that it can provide a solid barrier to prevent any raw material from reaching the water.

Step 3. Saran wrap your cardboard to prevent it from absorbing any potential wetness.

Step 4. Insert the wrapped cardboard into the toilet. See the picture below.



















Step 5. Find a plastic shopping bag (Note: Do not use a paper bag.) and insert it into the toilet with edge of the bag in contact with the outer seat.

Step 6. Tape the bag in order to secure it into position.




















Step 7. Poo to your heart's content. Depending on how deep your cardboard is...you might have to use a little technique to prevent poo glancing your butt cheek. After my first experience, I declared myself Lord of the Ring. (Wordy: Oh yes, folks, I have a PhD.)(Rockey: Wordy mocks me now, but guess who was number two to do number two?)

Step 8. After pooing and wiping, untape the bag and tie. A crucial move is to not tie the bag up and then wipe.

Step 9. Throw the bag away in a lined and sealed container.

Step 10. Rejoice that you successfully pooped in a bag.

Warning: The Poozer is not designed for number 1. Stay tuned for the Peezer.

Earthquake Update

This morning, it's business as usual for us with one big exception: there's no way to take care of The Daily Business.

Though our power was restored last night around 9:pm, the city's water and sewage systems were badly damaged and remain shut down, so the pressing question is this. Do you do the deed in the toilet and let it hang out there until flushing is an option? Do you find a place out in the yard and do it doggie style? (In our case, the yard isn't an option as we only have a concrete patio.) In the absence of a yard, do you find your local park and then clean up after yourself? It's clearly an issue that's at the top of folks' minds because this morning we ran into several of our newly befriended neighbors who were cruising around town looking for a place to poo. No joke.

As for water, we had some stashed from our pathetic earthquake kit (note to self: beef this up asap) and collected rainwater last night in buckets and lawn chairs. We will boil this and add it to our drinking water supply. The news tells us that supermarkets and petrol stations are beginning to reopen around the city, so hopefully this will ease some of our immediate water concerns. That said, if the long-term prognosis for the water and sewer systems remain grim, we may consider packing up and going for a trip until things improve. It's unbelievable how inconvenient it is to care for a toddler without being able to wash (as in hands, faces, butts, clothes, dishes, produce, etc.).

Last night's dinner was sandwiches and fruit. Tonight may be more of the same, which sounds unappetizing. The dilemma is that we have the pantry goods to make much more substantial and tasty tucker, but is it worth the mess when it's anybody's guess how long the dirty dishes could sit on the counter. You know what my inner Virgo would say . . .

We'll continue to keep you updated on what's up over here, but for now we're comfortable, warm, and dry and reasonably well fed. Thanks for your love and concern. We love you right back.

xoxo

Latest Earthquake

Latest earthquake was a 6.3 magnitude with epicenter 10km from Christchurch and only 5km deep. It was much more intense than the initial one in September and felt like a series of violent impacts vs. the more rolling nature of the September episode.

All of us are fine. The Squidd was at home napping and slept through the entire thing (again!). Rocky was at school and ended up walking home since he and I couldn't contact each other via cell or land line and neither of us knew exactly where the other would be. He made the 6km trek in just under 2 hours, while drivers reported spending upwards of 5 hours trying to drive across the city.

Our house once again withstood the shaking, though we've noticed a few hairline cracks in the drywall here and there. A few pictures fell off the walls, shattering glass, but our other household goods are fine. All in all, we've been very lucky.

Current reports confirm 65 people have died, but the number is expected to rise as rescue efforts continue through the night. It's raining and cold and miserable outside. It's unbearable to think about the people who remain trapped in collapsed buildings and the families who anxiously await news of loved ones who continue to be out of touch.

On the upside, this disaster has introduced neighbors who were formerly strangers and has brought out the best in everyone it seems. After the quake, most folks congregated outside in driveways. We joined a group next door, and enjoyed their company immensely as we hunkered down around a camp stove boiling water for tea and hot chocolate. Another neighbor who we've never met just left here having knocked on our door to offer candles (the power was still out at that point) and to let us use her cell to text our American families. A woman down the street has a flooded flat, and several other units in her complex are in unsafe condition. So the lot of them are all sleeping together in unit #5, which remained unscathed. People are calling into the radio stations to offer shelter at their homes for strangers whose homes were destroyed. It's heartwarming and heartrending at the same time.

We're keeping our fellow Cantabrians in our thoughts tonight as we settle for bed in our own home, in our own beds, with lights on and our family intact. Hope you will do the same.

Happy Valentine's Day

As we still haven't found babysitters, Rocky and I decided to mark the day by going out to lunch together while The Squidd was at school. We went to a cozy little place called Annie's in the heart of downtown. My parents discovered it when they were here to visit last June, and Rocky and I have been meaning to try it ever since.

Had a nice lunch and wine (at 11:30am? Oh, yes we did). It was a proper event.

And since we felt The Squidd should also get to partake in some holiday-ness, we all had cupcakes after dinner. Sadly, I had no time to bake the cupcakes myself, so I shamelessly bought them at a little bakery 'round the corner. Yum!

OD on Fried

In these parts, around every neighborhood corner is a neighborhood fish 'n chips spot. I thought stateside Pacific Northwesterners were big on fish and chips, but we can't put ourselves in the same league as kiwis. There are literally hundreds of these tiny shops crammed into a city the size of Christchurch (all you need is space for a counter and some deep fryers), and even blink towns--the ones you'll miss if you blink while driving through them--have a handful of their very own.

Fish and chips not your bag? Not to worry. Because as far as I can tell, almost all of these fish 'n chip shops offer a bonanza of other fried food: springrolls, crab rangoon, donuts, tempura vegetables, fried fruits, etc. All fried up fresh for you there and wrapped up in a neat package of newsprint.

And did I mention it's dead cheap? Well it is. We went to one of these joints for the first time last Thursday with some friends. These friends are also expats but also seasoned veterans of the fish 'n chips dining experience. The hubby advised Rocky that the orders were generous: one order of fish and one order of chips should do the job. Rocky, feeling like he could really do some damage on an order of fries and knowing that The Squidd likes his share of 'em, too, orders fish and THREE orders of fries.

Oh, we ate and ate, don't doubt it, but here is what was left of our $8 meal. My hand is in the picture for scale, but you'll have to trust me that even this picture fails to convey a true sense for how obscene 5 lbs. of fries looks when it's leftover from the original meal. As our friend Warren's dad would say: "That's good value."

(Still) Summertime and the Livin' Is Easy

We're feelin' it for our friends in the Northeast U.S. who, by all reports, are suffering through an eternal, miserable winter. As for us, we're still enjoying summer, though our warm days are liberally interspersed with cooler, drizzly ones, which suits this Pacific Northwesterner just fine.

Buckeck

The Best Part

Yesterday, I took The Squidd to the Canterbury Museum and he loved it!


Despite all the dinosaurs, giant bugs, and machinery covering nearly ever inch of this place, The Squidd was most entertained by three steps and a ramp leading to the bathroom.

Outside the museum are the lovely Christchurch Botanic Gardens. Called the Garden City, Christchurch takes special pride in showcasing the skills and dedication of its armada of landscapers. Took The Squidd out into the gardens post museum visit. Pose with mom or dad next to the flowers for a charming, pastoral shot? Hell no.



But pose on my own in the middle of the gravel walkway? You bet.

Needless to say, the kid has an obsession with gravel and sand and rocks of all sorts. Sound like anyone else you know?