Communication Disorders

Communication disorders are apparently housed in a building not far from Rocky’s building on campus. A fairly prominent sign proclaims this to be the case. On noticing it for the first time, I wondered exactly what was in that building, what the staff people in that building do on a daily basis, and what do Kiwis consider to be a communication disorder. Because it strikes me that perhaps I ought to check it out, plagued as I have been by a number of minor yet surprising difficulties bridging the language barrier between American English and Kiwi English.

An example: Not too long ago, Rocky and I went shopping for a dresser to hold The Squidd’s burgeoning wardrobe (thank you, friends and fam). Because we are new to the area, this was an exhausting proposition. Needless to say, we stopped at many, many stores from crappy to trendy, dead cheap to astronomically expensive. Among our many stops was a department store called Ballantyne’s. While there, we saw one of The Squidd’s teachers. She’s a lovely woman and a lovely educator, but we decided not to stop her and, instead, to let her enjoy her weekend without reminders of work to intruding on her outing. However, come Monday morning, when I went to drop off The Squidd, I mentioned to her that I’d seen her at Ballantyne’s, which I pronounced bal-an-teens. She looked at me oddly and asked me to repeat where I saw her.

So I said it again: Bal-an-teens.

Blank stare.

You know, Bal-an-teens, that department store downtown.

Lightbulb clicked on. Big smile now. Oh, Bal-an-TINES (rhymes with ‘valentines’). Yes, I was there with my daughter.

Seriously? The pronunciation of Bal-an-teens is so off that it’s completely unidentifiable as a reference to the store in question? Huh.

And another: Rocky reminded me that tomorrow we are meant to attend a potluck-style party at the home of his department chair. When I asked him what time it begins, he told me he wasn't sure. And before I could roll my eyes and ask him to puh-leeez find out, he told me the evite says to show up around "midday splicing of the mainbrace." Umm . . .